CHU!
by Dancing Lunar Wolves
Summary: When Judy and Nick finally realize that they should be dating, the two decide to have their first kiss... only... that's when everything goes horribly, hilariously wrong. It starts off small, but with everything going so oddly for them, will they ever get the chance to have one go right without some catastrophe or near death experience? Let's find out! Chu- the sound of kissing
1. Missed Kiss Missed Kiss!

Hey all DLW with a Valentines Day story. As a preface, it's a weird comedy about trying to get it right that has a weird inspiration (Tank Fail-Seeker [Deviant Art] for the piece and the anime that inspired the neurons in my brain to make a weird connection). More info at the bottom. Disclaimer: Zootopia and its characters are copyright, Disney.

Happy Valentines Day All!

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 **Missed Kiss Missed Kiss!**

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Judy had a jump to her step as she quickly approached her apartment building with Nick trailing not far behind as he agreed to walk her home - as he was (in his words) a ' _chivalrous gentlemammal_ ' - before heading back to his apartment himself. The ambience of the city - that subtle tone of roaming vehicles and rustle of trees in a warm wind - doing wonders to her blissful day with the radiant sun setting behind them to warm their fur.

The doe smiled as she recounted their evening. She and Nick had gone out to dinner at a popular restaurant after work hours and discussed quite a bit about their lives and they had - after Nick's insistence that it was a date - _finally_ come to the conclusion that they should start dating. It, after all, had been a year into their partnership on the force, and they had known each other for far longer.

Upon further recalling the day, she even wore a deep purple and grey highlighted dress. Something that she practically never wore, but still had in her wardrobe for special occasions and events back home. Something that, up until now, she never had the need for, but just on that day decided to wear as formal dress despite having dinner with the fox many times before. And it wasn't just her, Nick had on what she could only see as a fully tailored green suit and burgundy vest; something she had never seen him wear in all the time she had known him.

So, there they were, enjoying the remnants of the day and each others company while Judy's mind swirled with the realization that she and Nick were finally an item, a couple. She almost squealed on the spot, but kept herself in check as they were in public.

"Carrots, if you jump any higher, they may call ASEA (Animalia Space Exploration Administration) on you for a UFB," Nick said with a slight chuckle, his paws hung in the air as he pointed skyward.

Embarrassed slightly at her own tempo, the rabbit cut it down a bit... maybe by 2% or so and reduced her - taller than Nick - jump to a slightly more casual - up to Nick's nose - hop. She couldn't, however, keep the tint of red away from her ears and cheeks.

Before long she saw Nick laughing at her dilemma. Trying to compose herself before her whole face burned up, she thought of a well-rounded response. "Well, seeing how rabbits come from the moon, that shouldn't be a problem," she stated, smiling and feeling the heat in her ears recede a little.

Her reply didn't deter Nick from grinning wider. "Huh, that explains why Vitz was howling at you in broad daylight."

Judy's ears dropped and her eyes narrowed. "Uh-huh... and that had _nothing_ to do with you changing my ringtone?"

Nick shrugged and trekked on. They both knew he had been caught, his workplace antics were rather common in that sense. She still enjoyed them from time to time, but she had to draw the line at his ventilation shaft antics... they couldn't get the smell of imported cheese out of the break room for a month. She had no idea how he even acquired it in the first place, let alone how he _misplaced_ the thing. And to have the heat running in the winter?

She shook her head and pressed forward. Being on the block with her apartment in view, she fished out her keys from her purse. Nick had been there many times with her to watch a movie, work on a late case, help her with shopping, or even play a board game when Finnick was around. They still never beat her in Furisk; her bunny army was too strong!

By the time she had gotten her keys out, she noticed that Nick had been patiently waiting at the stoop of the building, casually swishing his tail and looking around almost as if he were... nervous? Though she popped a quizzical brow at his visage, she opened the door all the same.

Her 'home away from home' as she called it was the shoe box apartment on the fourth floor of the Grand Pangolin Arms. Judy may not have had much in the way of stuff - clothes, books, and a laptop -but she had more than enough. She had friends and family photos, noisy and creepy neighbours all around. And now... now she had a boyfriend, _Nick_. Something about that title made her heart jump a little as she bounded up the stairs. It was like centrifugal motion that pumped through her heart at that moment.

His footsteps followed hers, just a foot or two behind. She didn't know why she felt herself blush. He had walked her home many times, but now... now she'd tell him goodnight as _her_ boyfriend. Now he'd say goodbye to _his_ girlfriend! She was his girlfriend now! She was in perpetual bliss!

As she reached the apex of the stairs, the thought raced through her mind a ten miles minute, and for bunnies, that's a fast pace. That's a bunny's heart on caffeinated energy drinks! Or any day that her younger siblings got into the sugar back at the family warren... she never questioned why her mother had that closet full of bunny straight jackets. Though a few of her siblings preferred the duct tape.

"Hey, Carrots?"

Nick's subtle voice brought a blush to her face, it was warm and comforting to hear him. She turned to see he had a gentle smile on, the kind that he rarely had; it was the kind that lacked any sarcasm but was full of care and concern. He was even at eye level with her, being on the step below the landing. His eyes, Nick's eyes were something that she marvelled over and over again, but more so today than any other. They held a certain gleam that she had never caught before, but couldn't grasp exactly what it was.

Nervously, she wrung her paws and fiddled with her purse. The blush she held made her want to look away, but it was because of his eyes that she couldn't. She could even see his fur was a little bit redder than it used to be.

"Nick, I-" she began, trying to find the words but unable to make sounds in that moment. Her ears even started to fall flush to her sides, but she didn't dare look away. "I-i- ha-"

Nick rubbed the back of his right ear. "Yeah. Me too Carrots," he said with a nervous chuckle.

While she was thankful for the save, she wanted to let him know that she appreciated him more. Something that she hadn't thought of before this day. Something that now, as his girlfriend, she decided she would do. She closed her eyes and leant forward, letting her mind go blank as she hoped he would return the gesture. It was a pivotal moment, this was her chance for a kiss!

A tense moment passed between the two before anything happened. With the creak of stairs and feeling his breath against her nose, Judy knew she was about to have her first kiss. Something she had never experienced before, something that made her heart beat faster, something that-

"OH MY GOSH!"

-went downhill and up in flames in that instant.

As the shrill voice rang out from behind her, a sharp pain coursed on the edge of her lip. Unable to even turn and see which neighbour it was - probably that creepy gossip pig again - Judy shot her eyes open in terror. Her gaze landed on a startled looking fox who had his muzzle locked onto hers. A muffled scream came next.

It wasn't just the initial shock that she had from the failed kiss, but the fact that she couldn't breathe was what caused her paws to try to push his mouth away from hers. Despite Nick on the verge of releasing her and probably to profusely apologize to his girlfriend for accidentally biting her on their first kiss attempt, that's not what happened. Her paws found purchase on his chest and freed her from him to be able to breathe.

Then, as Gnuton's quote goes, ' _For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction_ ' it just so happened. The equal action was that Nick was freed as well; the opposite reaction... gravity and reflexes took over. The fox's paws searched for (and found) something to hold onto as he lost his balance and fell back with a remorseful twist on his muzzle. Unfortunately, for both of them, his paws found _her_.

The shrieks only grew louder as their worlds fell with them facing one another, Judy's terrified expression and purple dress filled Nick's vision as he felt everything turn upside down. He didn't register when - likely after the first second - but the first bump he felt on his head made him instinctively snap down in pain, only causing more of the sensation as his tongue was still flailing about.

Judy wasn't far behind in that fashion. As Nick was just below her, yelling out what little he had in his lungs, the edge of a step caught her view. Being mid-air already, she couldn't do much more than shield herself with one paw as she braced for an impact that would surely be painful. And, sure enough, the moment she felt her body continue its journey down the stairs, she felt a surge of pain shoot from her mouth. It tasted of copper and she could swear in that immediate moment she saw a flash of undefinable, brilliant colour.

It didn't stop there as the two fell; each eliciting screams, gruff's, and groans upon each step they took. Each time they tumbled and gained a new view of their end at the bottom. They collided into one another a few times, barely differentiating the pain from hardwood. When they had finally both landed in an ugly display at the bottom - Nick on his shoulder and rolling to his stomach, while Judy landed hard on her back just at under his chin - all that could be heard were the sharp intakes of breath from the both of them.

In this blissful... or at least somewhat dulled moment, they could barely hear someone shout from the top of the stairs, "Someone call an ambulance!"

Feeling the bruises and blinking rapidly, Nick forced himself to open his eyes which he knew were swollen. He saw Judy clasping her mouth and twitching a little. The fox's mind traced back to his academy training where he heard that the twitching was a reactionary shock thing, something that trauma can cause without one knowing. He wanted to shout, to scream her name and see if she was okay, but instead, the twitching turned against him.

He felt her foot connect with his chest in a way that he could only describe as a rhino truck taking a shortcut through a glass factory. He coughed and hacked, letting him know that he was still alive... until the truck made a round trip and pushed him a few inches away and somehow flipped him on his back.

In the seconds that followed, Nick thought, when he finally regained consciousness, he'd have to pay his cell phone bill. Soon his eyes began to close before he saw a white furred foot flail closer and closer to him...

The sooner they were in the hospital, the better.

* * *

Hello there, you've reached the end notes! Don't worry, they're perfectly fine. I wouldn't have a comedy story otherwise.

Okay, this story is gonna be kind of odd, but hilarious. As I said this was inspired but... oddly so. It started when I was on DA and saw that Fail-Seeker had a picture of "Arashi No Yoru Ni: Himitsu No Tomodachi". I loved that anime and am still waiting for either an OVA or a final episode or something because it was just that good... Long story short, I rewatched the last episode and heard the song "Dear My Friend" by the band "U-Kiss". As it was incomplete, I thought "What if Judy and Nick couldn't complete a kiss?" Then this started with a different title of "Dear my Kiss" or something I couldn't remember.

Then I thought to name it something that sounded like 'Kiss' and the onomatopoeia for kiss 'chu' or 'chuu' came to mind. And that's why it's called that with puns and altered titles from songs that have 'kiss' in them... there were _hundreds_! And just that many in English! I havent gotten to the k-pop/j-pop ones I'm going to do yet!

Also, I'm starting my drabble collections soon.

And I hope you get a chance to read this and the other stories at your leisure. All can be found here as well:

fanfiction:  
~dancinglunarwolves

deviantart:  
dancinglunarwolves

archiveofourown:  
users/DancingLunarWolves/works

If you liked this story and have time please post a review, and if you would like to keep up with the story please fav or follow. Questions, comments, concerns, feel free to message me about anything. If you'd like updates, please check the profile page and or message me.

Till Next Time  
 **-DLW**


	2. Kiss it Better

Hey all, DLW here with a new chapter of CHU! Also, there's important info about my update log at the bottom and stuff I'm doing exclusively on Deviant Art. Thank you to all my readers, follows, fav's and reviews and for your feedback it makes writing all the more fun. Disclaimer: Zootopia and its characters are copyright Disney.

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Kiss it Better

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It was early morning at Saint Namela Hospital, Zootopia. The sun had begun to peek across the horizon, and the stars that once shown brightly in the empty sky had vanished one by one. Busy nurses ran to and fro to check on their patients and ensure comfort while doctors gave examinations and diagnosis. A typical start for any mammal that came in actually, this shift was rarely different.

One such doctor, an ocelot by the name of Khlaus, patrolled the halls silently as to not disturb his patients too much. With clipboard in paw and his reading glasses assisting him in the process of getting the right doses summed up for his next patient, he lead another, far more concerned mammal with him.

"And you're _sure_ he's okay doctor?" came a voice, ladened with fear and shaken with worry.

A vixen - clad in purple a purple skirt and green shirt - shivered as faint memories flashed through her mind.

"Yes Ms. Wilde, he'll be fine," he replied almost mechanically as he had done the past several times. "Your son is stable: he only had light bruising and minor head trauma. Of the two, he went down harder, but we plan on releasing him this afternoon... however I am a little... _concerned_ about his behavior-"

He let the word drawl as he made a sharp turn, finally at the correct room of the ICU ward.

"B-behavior?" the vixen repeated, unsure of what would qualify for worry about the todd. Sure he was odd, even from the start Faye knew that. But what could be _that_ bad?

As they reached the room, a solitary mammal - a large water buffalo - sat on a hefty folding chair just outside. His stalwart and stone-faced gaze caught a glimpse of the doctor and the vixen next to him.

He gave a nod. "Faye Wilde?".

Flinching at the gruff tone of his voice, the vixen weakly nodded. She had seen him before, the chief of the police precinct her son worked for: Chief Bogo.

He said nothing more as the doctor swept by him and pulled aside the curtain that lead into the sterile room. White washed walls surrounded them and the room was dimly lit to not only promote sleep but to also protect the eyes of the narrowly awake patient.

Nick lay in bed, hooked up to several IV's and other devices that he had no coherent idea as to what they did. Clad in a hospital blue gown and wrapped in gauze all the way to his head, the fox sat up and lazily clutched a small pillow at his side. He twitched every now and again, mumbling something that couldn't be understood with a goofy look on his face.

The elder vixen's paws clasped to her muzzle as she ran to the todd. "My poor baby!" she shouted, undeterred by the doctors warning that silence was necessary. Nobody was going to stop the mother fox from protecting her child, no matter how old he got.

Reaching him, she threw her arms around him and softly cried. From Nick's motions, he was either protesting, or trying to return the hug... nobody knew.

Getting a call in the middle of the night, and being told by the police (which Nick ironically worked for) that your child was hurt was something that one never wanted to hear. Yet here Faye was, awake and wishing to never let the todd go again. She didn't even see that he was wiggling in her grasp.

The ocelot rushed over to her. "Ma'am, if you would, please..." He gently tapped her on the shoulder, mindful of her sobbing and attempting to console her. Having things stuffed into your arm to keep tabs on your vitals is painful enough without having them jostled every few seconds by someone trying to hug you.

In a moment, the doctor managed to convince and pry the vixen away so that he could get to work. There were vitals to check, pain meds to prescribe, and other various minute details to mull over before his release that day.

As the vixen watched the doctor work, she had to ask, "Is he really going to be fine?"

The doctor paused for a moment, seeing the obvious disbelief in her eyes. "Absolutely," he admitted, "He's delirious from the medication, but he can talk." He leaned over the fox with as bright of a smile as his profession allowed. "Isn't that right, Officer Wilde?"

The todd, upon hearing his name, turned in the direction of the doctor. His heart monitor beeped and he stared past the physician groggily; almost whimsically. Though he heard everything - to the extent his brain allowed with the amount of morphine being pumped into him - he was still focused on his own personal world.

He leaned over and grasped the pillow with both paws. "This-" he mumbled, staring at the cushion with some sort of fascination. "This is _my_ girlfrien'-"

Nick's mother looked at him with both trepidation and fear before she turned to the doctor. So dumbfounded was she that her jaw started to drop.

"Carros'-" Nick continued, a lazy smile forming. "This is _carrot_... my girlfrnnn-"

His speech was slurred and he seemed genuinely happy, much to the dismay of the vixen. Once he was done introducing the pillow, he pulled it into a tight hug and began to affectionately pet it while whispering 'Carrots' to the best of his ability.

Still stunned, the vixen silently eyed the doctor. He cleared his throat. "As you can see, he's fine, Ms. Wilde. My only real concern is that he keeps calling everything 'Carrots'. The nurse that wrapped his gauze said it was Carrots. When I last checked on him, he looked at the papers and said they were carrots. And he says his girlfriend is a carrot..."

With the explanation reaching her, Faye thought for a moment. Recalling everything that Nick had told her in the past few months, her eyes brightened; it had finally happened. " _OH_! That's the nickname he gave his partner on the force! That bunny named Judy."

While she was ecstatic and beaming with joy that Nick had finally asked the bunny out, the doctor was less amused... and slightly relieved. "Isn't that a bit... offensive?" he asked, looking at the todd cuddling with the pillow and speaking to it as if it were alive and well.

Faye shook her head. "No, no, I've met her before. She actually doesn't mind being called that."

Khlaus eyed both of them, still not fully convinced, but he shrugged all the same.

"Speaking of which, where is she?"

The ocelot had resumed checking things off his list, minding the giddy fox who had taken to rocking his 'faux Carrots' in his arms. "Usually I wouldn't release such information, but her boss told me otherwise," he admitted, trying to reach Nick's arm only for him to pull away playfully and shoo him away. "She's been discharged already: minor bruises and chipped front teeth. Otherwise, she was better off and is no longer here."

Nick's ears twitched at this, and he stopped trying to push the doctor away. His eyes scanned the room in horror at what Khlaus said.

"Carrots-" Nick whined, taking a look down to the pillow he had been so fond of to see that it _indeed_ wasn't her. "Thas not carros... where's Carrots!"

He became more erratic, trying to force himself to get out of bed, but both the exhaustion and medication prevented him from doing anything more than leaning forward; only for Khlaus to gently force him back down.

"Officer Wilde, Jud-... errr, Carrots! Is just fine. She left to-"

Nick gasped (more so groggily yawned) in horror. "She's gone!?"

The doctor shook his head. "No Officer, she's not gone."

For him, it meant ' _no, she's not 'gone' gone_ '. But to Nick? It confirmed his greatest fear.

His lip quivered and a few tears started to sting at the corner of his eyes. In an attempt to figure out how to go on with his life, he tried to piece together a coherent plan.

"We... we ha... we need to dig her up! She's a _carrot_!"

The other two predators simply stared at him. It was difficult to tell who was more concerned: the mother who cared deeply for her son, or the doctor who saw his patients as his own family.

Khlaus sighed. "Officer Wilde, I-"

"We need a _shovel_ ," Nick continued his ramble, staring at the pillow and nuzzling it for comfort. "We gotta get Carrots back!"

The doctor tried to calm him, hearing the heart monitor beep faster. "Officer Wilde, that's not-"

Nick would have none of it. "She tol' me she looooooooovs me!"

The sound of the sniffling, incoherent fox brought tears to the vixen once more. She was proud to have him as a son and happy that he and Judy were together. Even more so, she was concerned that Nick was in such a state of dismay.

The doctor pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. It was days like these that really put him over the edge. "Officer Wilde. I've told you, Judy's not-"

"Nick! You're awake!" There was a small shrieking gasp that came from the doorway. All eyes in the room fell upon a small grey, flannel wearing bunny who clasped her chipped teeth in glee.

"Carrots!"

Nick tried to lean forward in an attempt to hazily run towards the bunny but found it too tiring. Instead, the rabbit bounded his way and leapt onto the bed with incredible speed.

The other two predators watched as the bunny jumped onto the fox and made herself comfortable in his embrace, snuggling her muzzle into his cheek. The two couldn't look happier, and Nick's pillow was all but abandoned. He resumed to lazily pet whatever he held within his arms, and was glad to find that this time it actually was Judy. The comfort he experienced while his claws smoothed over her ears was astonishing to his medicated state.

Faye wiped a few tears from her eyes at their reunion. Khlaus mumbled that he needed more coffee to deal with this. And Bogo came storming in with a scowl.

"Hopps!" the buffalo shouted, and the doctor motioned for him to lower his voice. He complied... a little. "I told you not to come back here. You should be resting, and not bothering Wilde. This sort of behavior doesn't look good on your reports."

The bunny mumbled something into Nick's cheek fur, lazily waving the buffalo away and refusing to make eye contact. This done in front of their superior made it look like they were... kissing?

All of which were career ending mistakes.

The buffalo, narrow-eyed and having had enough, trampled into the room much smaller than his size should allow. The tiny bed and smaller mammals were no match for his wrath should it be unleashed.

That's when Faye intervened. "Chief Bogo, please," the motherly vixen pleaded, stepping in-between the behemoth and his subordinates. Taking a glance back at the two, she hoped to deter him for at least a little while. "Are you _really_ going to separate them? Now that they're in a relationship?"

Bogo stood there eyeing them for a long moment. Sneering, he replied, "So long as they don't fraternize at work: I don't care." Taking one last glance at them, he sauntered off; he had work to do and vowing to watch over his smallest two mammals was tedious enough.

Faye sighed. It was a small victory, but a victory none the less. Her focus returned to the two cuddled in bed, Nick softly breathing and looking as if sleep would overtake him in a moment.

Khlaus was unamused. He made his way towards the door, having his fill of the two patients for a lifetime. " _Normally_ , I'd separate the two of them, but I can't in this case. So if you'd follow me-" he deadpanned, ushering the vixen out with him to sign papers for release soon. "Nick will be discharged in a few hours, and Judy's here on her own terms now. It's out of my paws."

As the room emptied, leaving the fox and bunny there, nobody else saw Nick struggle and weakly move his head. Judy had fallen asleep right on top of him and-

"Noooooo," the fox whined, reaching for either the call button or trying to push the doe off of him. "She's drooling on meeeeeeeeeeeee-"

With no way to remove Judy from him until he was later checked on, Nick had to simply wait. And somewhere in his mind, his only functioning thought, was that he didn't think he'd ever _drown_ in kisses.

* * *

Hey there, a quick update/announcement. For those of you that are looking to see when I'll update something, please look no further than my Deviant Art account. I've been keeping a journal and status updates there to explan what I'm working on, and even show clips 'Snippets' of character dialogue and scenes from my current stories.

So if you're interested in keeping up with all the crazy things, would like to see the story you like most, or even just to get a sneak peek from 'Snippets' please look there.

And I hope you get a chance to read this and the other stories at your leisure. All can be found here as well:

fanfiction:  
~dancinglunarwolves

deviantart: [Snippets exclusive]  
dancinglunarwolves

archiveofourown:  
users/DancingLunarWolves/works

If you liked this story and have time please post a review, and if you would like to keep up with the story please fav or follow. Questions, comments, concerns, feel free to message me about anything. If you'd like updates, please check the profile page and or message me.

Till Next Time  
 **-DLW**


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